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Published: 26/10/04 (1 of 3)
That's Just Plain Ruud.
Malcolm Glazer's Yankchester Tigers offensive MVP Ruud van Nistelrooy is to be investigated by the FA following his horror tackle on quarter back Ashley Cole during Sunday's miscarriage of justice at the Theatre of Shite. You may remember, the horse faced cheat stamped down deliberately on Ashley Cole's knee, but as always the deed went unpunished by Yankchester's referee Mike Riley.

Guess who's back readers...?! :)

Now it seems, the FA are finally to do something (yeah right) about the cheats horseplay, this statement from the Eff-Hay: "The FA has chargedman united 's Ruud van Nistelrooy with a breach of FA Rule E3 for serious foul play. The charge relates to an incident involving Ashley Cole during the match betweenman united and Arsenal on Sunday, 24 October 2004. Van Nistelrooy is required to admit or deny the charge by Tuesday 26 October, with the case scheduled to be heard by a Disciplinary Commission on Thursday 28 October..."

Check it out - the Mike Riley picture special, courtesy of ArsenalShorts.com

Naturally, the FA can't be seen to be biased, so they have asked SirWenger to 'justify' his comments citingman united Mike Riley as the reason our 49 game unbeaten streak came to an end...

ALL NEW: TJ Hooker - from Russia with love...

Fergie Gets a Pizza The Action...
Incontinent FA puppeteer Alex Ferguson was apparently slapped across his cheating big red alcohol soaked face with some pizza and soup after the game on Sunday, as tempers flared in the tunnel while the players left the pitch. Our 'equipment manager' (whatever he does) was left with a bloody nose, the FA have promised to investigate the melee which was apparently started byLe Boss who rightly branded Ruud van Nistelrooy a 'cheat' - again...

Well played ArseOnLine for a few choicey jibes towards the fickle, plasticmancs fans like "'The Taunton faithful..." - quality article...

Captain Marvel: "We'll Be Back..."
Patrick Vieira has promised that the mightyChampions will be back as a stronger unit following our unjust defeat at the Manchestershite Rose Bowel Arena on Sunday.

Vieira said: "We are upset about the way we lost, the penalty decision changed the game. We were defending well and we felt comfortable because they were not creating chances. We were happy with the way the game was going on. In the dressing room after the game we knew we did not deserve to lose this game. We know the referee's decision changed the game. We feel stronger than ever, and our character is just so great we will bounce back in our next game..."

"We are eight points ahead ofman united and two ahead ofChelsea , so we are still in a strong position. If you asked those two sides where they'd want to be right now I think they would still say where we are..." Full story here on Arsenal.com

Young Guns Beaten...
The U18s side was beaten 2-1 by Charlton at London Colney this weekend... full story here... Not the only team this weekend to be undone by a South London Addick... (yeah so, it nearly worked...)

Adam and Adams Continue Partnership...
Adam Birchall's loan spell atTony Adams Wycombe Wanderers has been extended for another month. The 19 year old has now hit 3 goals in 8 for TA's Wycombe side...

You Must be Joe King... 's Brother Ledley...
According to reports in the weekend's Sunday papers,Tottenh*m Hotspur have slapped a £21m price tag on the head of their latest over rated false dawn Ledley King. You may remember we rescuedSol Campbell from a career of disaster and turned him into a Champion, Le Boss is toying with doing the same for King, but unlike with Campbell who you may remember was free - the underacheivingScum will ensure that King will cost a bit more...

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