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Published: 26/10/04 (3 of 3)
Buffet the Ferguson Slayer...
Police in that hole they call Manchester have been asked by the FA for a report on the up the tunnel incident involving Alex Ferguson where the incontinent alcoholic was supposedly slapped in the face with a greasy slice of pepperoni stuffed crust by irateArsenal players, followed by a red face full of soup.

Guess who's back readers, yep, you knows it - and his Diary's been updated to take in the ban which he's been dished out - shock horror...!

"We will be looking to gather information from different sources..." said a spokesman. Rumours flying around today include horse faced cheat Ruud van Nistelrooy went into theArsenal dressing room to gloat after the game, also that Edu punched Ferguson (oh how we wish that was true!) and thatWenger told RVN he was an 'effing cheat' and the Cesc soaking Ferguson with soup...!

There may be some truth in some of the rumours, as the manc manager wore a change of clothing for his TV interview after the match, perhaps he was sick down it after too many whiskeys, who knows... or perhaps Rooney had trouble keeping ... no, let's not even go there, eh...?

Mike Riley picture special...

Reyes: "Roo Are a Cheat As Well!"
The Neville's punch/kick bag Jose Antonio Reyes has branded round faced brothel creeper Wayne Rooney a cheat for his part in the BoOT Mk II on Sunday. Rooney appeared to go down under a nothing challenge to earnman united a dubious penalty which RVN duly despatched to give them the lead.

Jose Antonio said: "The referee made so many mistakes and didn't perform well, the penalty should not have been given - but now we all know what a good actor Wayne Rooney is in the penalty area..."

Ruud van Nistelrooy had his doubts, but naturally stuck up for his lover Mike Riley:  "At first sight I thought it was a penalty, I can understand why the referee gave it because of the angle he was looking from, but afterwards, when I saw it on television, I had doubts..." Cheating fecker.

Nice tribute to our very own 49ers here from Arsenal.com

More later perhaps but before we go - SIGN THE PETITION...!

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