The Francesc Fabregas Story (Part One)...

< Previous | 6th August 2010 | Next story >

May 13th: Fabregas states in an interview that if someone put his head in an industrial vice and made him leave Arsenal he would 'probably' join Barcelona 'if I had too choose'. This comment is twisted out of context, and 'I'd love to join Barcelona' is born.

May 14th: Fabregas says 'I would love to win the World Cup with Spain and will go for a holiday there after South Africa for some charity work" - cue Goal.com reports: "Fabregas: I am going home FOR GOOD..."

May 15th: Barcelona player Xavi pipes up for the first time: "Cesc is my love, I would welcome him with my openings" Google Translate reports...

May 21st: Fabregas says: "I've asked Arsene Wenger for a couple of days holiday after the World Cup..." - Goal.com - REPORT - Fabregas tells Wenger - "I WANT LEAVE"...

May 23rd: Barcelona offer Ibrahimovic as part of a new deal for Fabregas. £30m cash, or £35m + Ibrahimovic. Pat Rice says 'no deal'...

May 19th: Trixi Burgerstain puts in a firm offer for Fabregas. The club continues to clock a snoop at the Spaniards as they continue to avoid the obvious.

May 20th: Xavi reiterates his love for Cesc, and reminds us all Cesc has Barcelona DNA.
May 21st: ArsenalShorts commissions a scientist to research Cesc's DNA. Results regarding whether he has Barcelona DNA come back negative. "It's UNPOSSIBLE" admits the Scientist guy.
May 22nd: Puyol wants Fabregas.
May 23rd: Pique wants Fabregas.
May 24th: Puyol and Pique turn up at training with black eyes, and plasters on their heads. Xavi looks shifty.

May 25th: Barcelona's Joan LaPorta, Sandra Rossell and Trixi Bergurstain realise they have the same first names as three of the Golden Girls, look sheepish.

May 26th: Lionel Messi wants Fabregas. Xavi chases him round the training ground with a broom, in a Benny Hill style, luckily Messi's giant bobbly head is no match for Xavis' broom...

May 27th: Peter Hill-Wood cuts short a seal-clubbing holiday to reiterate Cesc is going nowhere with Arsenal. "Just like the rest of 'em" he says.

June 1st: "It's more clear than ever, that we'll be together..." Xavi seems hell bent on bringing his self-confirmed blood brother to Spain. Builds shrine.

June 2nd: Cesc gets an injunction against Xavi.

June 3rd: Goal.com, Caught Offside and Tribal Football employs 24 extra employees to make up more Fabregas stories. One of them almost type the full works of Shakespeare, just missing the final full stop, and typing DFJDEJL instead.

June 4th: Barcelona vice-presidential candidate Josep Maria Bartomeu has risked the wrath of Arsenal by claiming it would be "so easy" to sign Cesc Fabregas... that one was true, I just left it in as it's amusing.

June 6th: 'Arsenal want £4 billion for Fabregas', cos he killed Diana cry the Daily Mail. Cesc & Other Immigrants out, cry the Daily Express.

June 7th: Xavi starts to cry, tells Fabregas he risks missing out on a golden era at the club. Players announce they haven't been paid for 6 weeks and the clubs just borrowed £150m to pay UNICEF... (or something)

June 15th: Sandra, Joan and Trixie are in mourning as the REALLY old one pretends to be dead. Only to find, she was asleep after a hilarious old lady trumpet incident/misunderstanding.

July 6th: Laporta loses it, and shouts to the press: "We won't pay £80m for Fabregas..." Wenger still in South Africa, no idea whats happening. Akers chuckles as he puts the phone down to Barcelona Joana.

July 13th: Fabregas gets a shirt thrust on him by his 'great mates'. Looks suitably embarrassed (oh and wins the World Cup). At Barnet, someone forces an Arsenal home shirt on Rosicky, he takes it off, no idea what it is as its not a training top, straight jacket or hospital gown.

July 15th: ArsenalShorts gets followed by Fabregas's sister on Twitter. Woohoo!

July 18th: Three people are killed and eleven seriously injured when staff at Sport.co.uk's keyboards explode simultaneously through a mixture of friction and meltage especially around the F, A and B letters.

July 19th: Sport.co.uk report that 'RegS could move to RCelon' - NewsNow less than happy.

July 21st: Xavi insistes that Fabregas is 'on loan' at Barcelona, cries a bit and sends more flowers to Cesc as he realising his love is slipping through his fingers.

Juy 23rd: A Barca chief says: "The thing that is missing is Arsenal must want to sell, at the moment they do not..."

July 24th: World breathes a sigh of relief, Xavi found on top of a car park, on a goat.

Aug 5th: Cesc turns up to members day at Emirates, him and Wenger share a bowl of Cheerios, a Yop, and a smile. "Did we miss anything?" they chuckle in unsion, while Akers pours the milk. They all pause and the credits roll.

THE END. (some chance).

Follow us on Twitter here...

Use Gambling Kingz to find the latest EPL betting.

Claim an online roulette bonus and play on the top bingo sites online today.

It is regarded to be one of the best leagues in the world,
if not the best, and now this is your chance to win big on Premier League betting.
Bet now on the Premier League with 888sport.

If you enjoy betting on your favourite team but don't know where to
find the best odds then visit Gaming Supermarket now and get the best
sports betting bonuses available online.

1. ArseBlog
2. AWIMB
3. Arsenal.com
4. Arsenal-Mania
5. Online Casino
6. GoonerTalk
7. NewsNow
8. ClockEnders
9. Young Guns
10. Play poker online at bwin.com