They say that you don't have to mad to be a goalkeeper, but Jens Lehmann is anyway and couldn't give a hatstand. Our goalkeeper, number one, and shot stopper is best known for being madcap, mental, loopy and sometimes quite good on his day when he's in the zone on that day, if he's in any other zone, on any other day, he's not as good, but that's only sometimes and not very often.

He had a spell during the 2006 season where he went even more mental that usual, and a spell on the bench saw him get his head down, knuckle down, get down, and courageously turn his fortunes around single handedly and squeeze back in to the first team, well, that and the fact that Almunia was crap.

Jens is, like a nice new clock, easy to wind up, and has running battles with many strikers, such as Robbie Keane, Jermain Defoe and any others that Spurs wheel out on an annual basis to try and acheive mediocrity. They're often pulling his hair, stamping on his boots, and generally pranking one off to get him to react, bit like Rio Ferdinand and his madcap World Cup windups. 'you've been merkin'd...'

Jens plays for Germany in his spare time, and has an ongoing double act with Mary Shelley's Oliver Kahn. They publicly hate each other and have battled for the numero eins shirt since before Lehmann was even previously.

Lehmann keeps a family of piglets in his barn in Barnsley, and drives to work in a converted convertible. He's a big fan of cherries without pips, and likes nothing better of a night time than a good walk with his favourite piglet called Piglet as a name.

His wife, who he's married to is called Jif Lehmann and is the mother to all of his children and some others which aren't hers. His has two sons Damon Lehmann and Raymond Lehmann, and sister Bita are said to be trailling for the German Olympic squad at sport. Originally from Bremen, their favourite band is Mr C's band from the 80's, and their favourite holiday resort is those Islands near Mexico. You'll often find Damon and Raymond Lehmann from Bremen, listening to the Shamen in the Cayman.

Favourite food: Snackenwurstern
Favourite drink: Beerenschmorgen
Favourite holiday resort: Schminkendorf
Favouite other footballer: Himself
Most likely to say: "NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN" (when he's organising a long wall)
Least likely to say: "I love that Oliver Kahn me, no idea why I get the nod from that squarehead Klinsman..."